The Well Oiled Machine by Devin Maddox

Posted: January 14, 2009

Straight talk to men and women

The Well Oiled Machine

As a man of a mechanical trade, I understand things from a physics point of view. You might say not everyone can understand the inter-workings of an engine, because some people just cannot visualize what is going on behind a piece of metal. However, all of us can visualize things we see in the open. The "machine" that God built is one that is clearly seen, yet people are constantly trying to put the right part in the wrong place and visa versa.

By using the word, "machine" here in the context of this article, I am not trying to put less esteem on the anticipated topic, but just use it as an illustration.

The topic is the family. More specifically, the husband and wife roles in the home and church. I know that women will probably be turned off by this one, but maybe some need self examination? I really don't want to belittle women and I am not going to. So bear with me, keep an open mind, and use the scriptures as the final authority!

When talking about the husband and wife relationship, I am not going to spend a lot of time mulling over romance and respect, the two "R's" that help me understand what women and men really need from each other. I want to dive into the everyday responsibilities of a husband and a wife. There are many books and devotionals written about love and marriage, but what about the busy parts of life, the daily grind of work, chores, and children?

For good preaching on the subject of love and marriage I suggest: http://www.baptistvisiononline.org/media.htm

Where do we fall in regards to this daily grind? What is our part, motion, and purpose? Whether one is looking at a reciprocating gasoline engine, or a turbo-jet, there are parts that perform specific roles due to their design, and with out them, the machine will not operate! What is it like in the home or our churches today? Are we fulfilling our God designed role? Do we fit the part? Are we in operation?

True, there are many things in the world that grind on us. There are obstacles in life that wear down our finish and breakdown our operation, but for Christians this is just one more thing to look to God for. He is our heavenly �Repair Man,� so to speak. His sanctification process is tried and true. His wisdom is not of this world. And best yet, His grace works miracles! For we are all headed to the scrap heap, except for the loving mercy of our Savior.

So let's get to it. Our operation as a family depends on everyone staying put in their God given roles. If an engine throws a rod, it has lost proper operation of one of it's components and thus is inoperable, at least in producing sufficient power. So it is with our home. If my wife is sick or absent, things can slow down and get a little hairy. Likewise, if I do not go to work or cut the grass my wife would say that we're in real trouble. So when we are both doing the things we normally do, the things we're supposed to do, it is a well oiled machine in our home.

Next, I want to take you on a journey with me. Let's look at things from perspectives. First, the perspective will be my own. After all, I'm writing the article. Then, we'll look at my wife's perspective, from her own words. And finally, the popular worldview versus the clear teachings of scripture.

To steal from Fox news, "I'll report, you decide."

My Perspective:

1. I am to love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. This should be displayed and taught to my family.

"And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children , and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates." -Deuteronomy 6: 5-9 (Emphasis added.)

Jesus said, "Thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. " -Matthew 22: 37-38

2. I am to love my wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." -Ephesians 5: 25-28 (Emphasis added.)

3. I am to provide for the needs of my family, both natural and spiritual.

" And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." -Ephesians 6: 4 (Emphasis added.)

" But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. " 1st Timothy 5: 8 (Emphasis added.)

4. I am to abstain from things that will produce strife, adultery, and rebellion as I lead my family in the service of Christ.

" Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil." -1st Thessalonians 5: 16- 22 (Emphasis added)

" Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." -1st Peter 3: 7 (Emphasis Added)

My wife's perspective from her own words:

1. Be a helpful, supportive, and loving wife as I respect and submit to my husband.

" That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discrete, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. " -Titus 2: 4-5

" Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. " -Ephesians 5: 22-24

2. Be a patient, hardworking, and loving mother.

" The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." -Proverbs 29: 15

" She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness" -Proverbs 31: 27

3. Be a woman of God, growing in wisdom, grace, and truth.

" Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding." -Proverbs 23: 23

" But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both know and for ever. A-men." -2nd Peter 3:18

4. Be a good witness to family, friends, and others.

" Let love be without dissimulation (hypocrisy). Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; distributing to the necessity of the saints; given to hospitality.

Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. " -Romans 12: 9-14

" The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise." -Proverbs 11: 30

Note: The above list of roles and scripture references were compiled by Lucy Maddox.

Popular views of American society:

1. Self is supreme.

�What's in it for me? Why get married if I can't have everything I want? That will tie me down!�

I'm speaking just as much to our women in society these days as our men! This is no joke, that is what women are thinking today. I have witnessed more than one occasion, in which, a young man was deciding to settle down, but the whore he chose to settle with skipped out on him when commitment was discussed. It used to be the other way around, not that it is any better that way.

Also, I have heard guys that are married say, "if my wife was making the good money, I'd stay home and watch the kids, no problem!" No problem? Is this what scripture teaches us? NO.

Marriage has important components in it such as, sacrifice in love, duty, responsibility, and, oh yeah, FORGIVENESS. These things do not appeal to many of low character, and if that chaps your hide then good, you needed it. What about this mentality spilling over into our churches? Think about it in the next section. That is, if you've made it this far.

2. Society only wants to do something for others for the sole purpose of others doing something for them.

Many couples go to visit churches simply to find what is in it for them. "What kind of child care can you provide? What kind of fun events do you do? Can I do whatever I want and get away with it? If not, we'll take our huge family of kids and go to a rival church!"

What is this, family attendance to the highest bidder? The bid being a social club atmosphere that we disguise as church? Now I want to puke! Go ahead, be the thorn in some seeker friendly church's side. Go ruin another congregation with your ungodly selfishness. Be prepared to be chastened of the Lord if you are truly his. The odd thing is, of the families that match this description, it's the woman that is leading the home and not the man. I have witnessed it, I have heard of it from many other pastors, it is apparent that this goes on in many areas.

What about men that won't attend a church unless he's recognized by everyone and put on a pedestal? What about women who split whole churches up because they want to do everything the men do, but forget what the Bible says about teaching the younger women to do right?

What a bunch of sissy men and domineering women we have. They both have one thing in common: SIN. The sin of selfishness. Go on, try to put that dip stick in the fan belt and see what happens! It will not be a pretty site, nor is it a pretty site considering what is happening in our Baptist homes and churches.

Everything seems backwards. Wrong is called right, and right is called the devil. The machine is breaking down.

Women seem to be power hungry and men seem to want praise for doing nothing. What a mess we're in. Can the application of the Bible really save us? Yes. If we would just concentrate on fulfilling our God ordained roles, then we all would be more successful, peaceful, and less stressed out. Our society has been duped into thinking that we all need to gain for ourselves to be happy. "Dream big and follow your dreams..." Yuk, what a bunch of bologna!

There is no peace, joy, or happiness that can equate to, "godliness with contentment is great gain". The way to fulfillment is to be full in Christ. Find your calling in the Lord. He will teach us all things and form us into his image.

"If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself. But godliness with contentment is great gain." -1st Timothy 6: 3-6

"But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness." -1st Timothy 6: 11

3. Men and women's roles are completely interchangeable for the home, church, workforce, and even military.

All of this started well before my time. However, I can see it is clearly getting worse by the day. Women CEO's with stay-at home daddy pansies. Dad changing a diaper while mom is out cutting grass. Women preaching with raspy voices and strong countenances while the limp-wristed men quiver in their pew. Once again, puke! Don't act like that is normal, God ordained behavior, you know better.

There used to be a time when women were honored as the weaker vessel. Men opened doors, helped with carrying heavy items, said miss or misses, honored their mothers, and so on. We are losing that today. It also seems like the women don't want to be honored. They want to get the door for themselves, they want to carry the heavy item when a man is next to them, and they want to participate in every activity that is common to men. Some women feel they need to prove themselves, but for what? I'm not impressed, other feminine women are not impressed, so why the macho-ism?

I would never let my wife do the hard outdoor jobs that I normally do around the house so that I could get off easy while watching a game. That kind of stuff is just ridiculous. Obviously, there are certain things that my wife would do, or I would do, if there was an out of ordinary circumstance or emergency. It is the normal every day operations that I am referring to.

Keep the piston in the cylinder, the belt on the pulleys, and the carburetor on the intake manifold!

One example that I have seen used by those advocating women leaders for government or military, is that of Deborah, the judge mentioned in Judges chapter four. They say it is God's plan to incorporate women in leadership roles over men in the nation.

I have some issues about this argument. First, she was not the first example of a judge that Israel had. There were many male judges before, and when they died, the people immediately turned away from God to commit evil. This happened time and time again, until the time of Deborah, whom God used to encourage Barak to go to war with Sisera. Barak was weak, he would not go to war unless Deborah went with him. He sort of looks like a "momma's boy" in the text. This shows lack of faith in God's plan. Even Deborah reminded Barak, " hath not the LORD God of Israel commanded saying, Go and draw toward mount Tabor, and take with thee ten thousand men...?" What had happened to the men of valor?

The point, this is not the norm. This is something God used to accomplish his will. It is similar to the writing of divorce. Moses gave the children of Israel a writing of divorce, which became legal, because of the hardness of their hearts. They were stubborn. Jesus answered the Pharisees and told them, "from the beginning it was not so." (Read Matt. 19)

I believe that this situation is similar in judges, from the beginning it was not so, but because of their weakness in sin, and their stubborn ways, God humbled them and used Deborah as judge. She did do a good job, as she did not delay, but she was still referred to as "a mother in Israel." (vs. 7 of Ch. 5) Also, Barak was still the male used to lead the army of men. There was not a company of mixed genders and leadership in the actual battle.

When did exceptions become the excuse for the rule? Why do we strain at a nat and swallow the camel?

4. It's about equality.

This is like saying, since some blacks were slaves in history, now whites owe them everything. Since, man has always been in leadership roles, it's now woman's turn by default. Anything contradicting this movement is demonized as hate, belittling, suppression, oppression, hypocritical, evil, ... well you get the point.

"But I suffer not a woman to teach, or usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." -1st Timothy 2:12-14

Adam was first formed, then Eve from Adam's rib. This act was performed by God, don't get mad at me! Just like children do not rule over their parents, likewise, women do not lead the church. They are very needed, however, and they are gifted to bless others in the service of Christ.

I am incomplete without my wife. She is great in all that she does, and that is a lot of things. However, we do not worry about equality. God does not command us to worry about equality. The parts of an engine are not all shaped the same, of the same size, or of the same density, but that does not mean the part is worthless. Without the right part the engine will not function properly.

Let's let the Bible defend itself. As we have seen in the list of perspectives, there are things women do well and are called to do. Likewise, there are things that men do well and are called to do. Mixing the calling is like putting the wrong part in the wrong place.

In conclusion, some times it is better to just let the Bible speak for itself. I cannot say it any better than this:

�This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre; Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience. And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless. Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.� -1st Timothy 3:1-12 (Emphasis added.)

Men, fulfill your role in your God ordained responsibilities. Women, fulfill your role in your God ordained responsibilities.

With both pistons firing and everything running smooth, you indeed have a well oiled machine.

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